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Are You a Bouncer or a Security Professional? (Verbal Judo)

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Have you ever heard the saying, you can catch more Flies with Honey than vinegar? Of Course. Is it better to win every battle set forth or do you save more time and effort by avoiding that fight completely? Words have power and it is every Security and Hospitality Professional’s Job to be a master of words. Some of the most powerful changes and moments of human history were sparked by the spoken words of an individual. So shouldn’t we be able to persuade and comfort human beings simply by using or not using the right phrase at the right time? People respond differently to certain words, so if you have an individual that was displeased by a certain action take note of the level of displeasure the individual is displaying accompanied by the situation that has upset them and tailor your words to perfection to the individual.

Let’s say you are working at a champagne lounge and a man stumbles up to the front door clearly overserved muttering obscenities. Do you tell him to go kick rocks, possibly inciting a rage and getting into a screaming match in front of the door? I assure you this will lose your establishment business and ultimately will result in a bad yelp review. No one wins. Or shall we tell him that we must hold the door, because we just had our main co2 tank go down and we cannot distribute beverages, so we are not receiving guests at this time. The individual will have no reason to engage you in any further conversation.

Another overlooked aspect of Security is the art of No. No one wants to be told what they cannot do. Jack Brehm referred to this phenomenon as Reactance (the consequences that occurs when a person’s freedoms are threatened). However people do Enjoy Options. A Security Professional must distract one from their original request by giving them a secondary means of satisfaction such as “I’m sorry sir the drinks must stay inside, however if you like I will place it at the host stand and watch it or I will deliver it back to your table.” It gives someone an option, instead of demanding compliance, making your job easier and the guest feels as though they are receiving a service. Security is a service, so if a Bouncer believes that he should be intimidating, he is only fooling himself. Accommodation, Vigilance and Communication is the name of the game. Let us look at the statement made at establishments and venues worldwide,” Do you know who I am?” The statement in itself is partially narcissistic. However what do I lose by saying,” I apologize sir, I have been given a directive and I must follow it, is there any other way I can assist you?” Give a service in return for compliance.

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